People with BPD are often portrayed in cruel or simplistic ways when relationships and sex are discussed. Research can describe higher rates of some difficulties in a study population, but it cannot decide an individual’s values, identity, desire, consent or capacity for healthy intimacy.
What the research actually supports
A 2016 review found that sexuality-related concerns are an important clinical topic in BPD research, including sexual impulsivity and the impact of trauma for some people. The authors also noted limits in the evidence. Another review found that relationship difficulties can be associated with BPD traits, while calling for more longitudinal research. Association is not destiny—and neither review supports shaming people or assuming risk.
Better questions
Instead of “Is something wrong with me?”, try: “What am I needing in this moment?” “Do I feel able to choose freely?” and “What support would make a relationship feel safer?” A good therapist can work with these questions without pathologising sexuality or identity.
Sources
Frías et al., 2016 (PubMed); Navarro-Gómez et al., 2017 (PubMed).